![]() Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Angela, where’s Angela? Whoa, there you are, I didn’t see you there behind that grain of rice. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Meredith, you’ve slept with so many guys, you’re starting to look like one. Michael: Jim, you’re 6’11 and you weigh 90 pounds. I guess it also means that sometimes love affairs look different to the people inside them. My kids are going to be right about that. Pam: When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. Sam: Lily! Push the reverse button! Reverse the button! Michael: And my thing isn’t tiny, it’s average, so …ĭwight: He’s either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. Pam: If it were an iPod, it would be a Shuffle.Īndy: What I hate about you, you really suck as a boss … You don’t have any friends or any family or any land! Jim: The quote was “Cut off your nose to spider face.”ĭwight: You pathetic, short little man. Meredith: Michael, you are the reason I drink. Michael: I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this.Īngela: If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott.Īngela: I don’t normally enjoy making people laugh. Michael: Who here has the Comedy Central Roast Channel? Michael: But now ‘boss’ is just slang for ‘jerk in charge.’ Michael: And I looked so good in a perm and shoulder pads. Michael: Those shoulder pads are really boss, man. ![]() Michael: You never expect that you’re the killer. Kevin: Michael, I think YOU’RE what’s stressing everybody out. Michael: Oscar? Would you reach over and touch his thing? That’s what he said! Michael: That one makes me think of death. Michael: My god, if you’re wearing a dress, please keep your knees together, nobody wants to see that, ohm … I filled him full of butter and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise. They’re catching things that are totally going over my head.ĭwight (reading statement): “I state my regret.”ĭwight: Yeah right. ![]() But I’m going to need to buy my dad a robe.Īndy: Jim and Pam are like, movie geniuses. Michael: We start with the dummy, and we learn from our mistakes, and now Dwight knows not to cut the face off of a real person.Īndy: Hope you brought your appetitos, m’lady, m’tuna. Michael: I will divide and then count to it.Ĭreed: You were in the parking lot earlier! That’s how I know you!ĭavid: Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy? Michael: No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin. Michael: C’mon, Stanley! You’re losing you! Stanley: I feel like I’m working in my own casket. Stanley: If I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die. Michael: An office is a place where dreams come true. Something that Dwight doesn’t like.ĭwight: I am planning a bomb scare that should really get the blood pumping. Michael: We should take a part of his pay and donate it to the charity of your choice. Michael: Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley!ĭwight: A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time.ĭwight: I did not kill anyone. PowerPoint is boring.ĭwight: Today, smoking is going to save lives.Īngela: Did you bring your jerky in again?ĭwight: Have you ever seen a burn victim?ĭwight: Use the surge of fear and adrenalin to sharpen your decision-making!ĭwight: It’s not real, Stanley. The Office Stress Relief quotesĭwight: It’s my own fault for using PowerPoint. 1-5, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.89/10 The Office lolcat inspired by ‘Stress Relief.’.Guest stars: Cloris Leachman, Jack Black, Jessica Alba. While watching a pirated movie, Andy is convinced that Jim and Pam are film gurus. So that people won’t feel afraid of him, he insists on a no-holds-barred roast of himself. Michael tries a number of ways to get his employees to relax before discovering that he is the number one stressor at work. Summary (NBC): After Dwight’s fire safety seminar goes awry, he must make amends to the stressed-out office. ![]() Writer: Paul Lieberstein, Director: Jeffrey Blitz ![]()
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